I've had a pretty good day today. I played in a vets game this evening and we managed to win 4-3 and I bagged a hatrick. It was what you might call a direct approach and a battling performance against a very good Sundon Vets team. It shows that it's not always the best 'proper' footballing team on the day that wins. We struggled a bit to start off but tactically our coach decided the way to win was play quick balls to a target man (me!) and play off him. It worked a treat and they couldn't handle it.
This morning though was completely different. My son Matty plays for a fantastic team and their coach happens to be my vets team coach too. This morning, though, he played a 3-1-3-1 formation that really suits the players they have. The boys were brilliant and moved the ball around really, really well. To be fair, their opponents weren't a bad side and they've got some pretty tasty players, but the behaviour of their coach and one parent in particular was absolutely awful. We started off really quickly and were soon on top. The opposing coach started raising his voice, hollering and generally being horrible. By half time he was screaming at his team. He was joined in his 'chorus or terror' by one of the boy's parents. The dad was repeatedly heard swearing about how bad the team were playing. Now I'm not a prude, but we're talking about 10 year old boys here in the prime of their development years. The half time talks were what you might call a bit different. The opponents were sat down while the 'coach' (and I use the term loosely) balled them out about effort, commitment and just generally being bad. Our coach basically let the team listen to them and then said "I bet you're glad I'm not like him!".
The second half was much the same with both teams trying their best but our team coming out on top. The coach continued his barrage of abuse along with the father. It was awful to watch, witnessing the poor lad looking over at his father yelling abuse. I mean, clearly the lad was trying to play badly just to upset him! Eventually the dad said "f%ck this, I'm not staying here to watch this pile of sh*t" and promptly walked off. His son just stood there, started biting his nails and you could see the tears welling up in his eyes. To make it even worse, at the end of the game with the score 5-1 to our team, the coach again sat his team down and told them how rubbish they were. It's strange, because if he'd actually watched the game and not worried about the score, he might have realised that they were actually a decent team and the kid who's dad walked off was probably their best player!!!
What really worries me the most is the journey home the poor lad had to put up with with his disgruntled father and if he'll even bother playing in their next game. This is the time that the boys need encouragement and positive reinforcement, not screaming abusive coaches and parents. Sadly I see it all too often, where the only people that really care about the results in kids football are the adults. Is it really that hard to just watch and support your kid, even when things aren't going well? Do we really believe they're trying to not do their best?
Something I'd really like to do is video the parents and the coaches and then play them repeatedly at the next game...
I wanted to follow up on this post with an altogether experience I had at the weekend. My lad's team played Leighton Utd Reds U11s in a cup match. It was a very close game (as it always is when we play them) but the atmosphere was completely different to last week. When the opposition turned up there was immediately a bit of friendly banter and jokes being shared between both sets of coaches and both sets of players. Throughout the game you could hear both sets of parents applauding both sets of players and the only coaching you heard was posing questions and no barking of instructions. Matty Smith of AFC Kempston and Craig (sorry, I don't know your surname) of Leighton Utd Reds U11s, please stand up and take a bow. If anyone reading this knows any other brilliant youth coaches, why not give them a shout here and let them take the credit they deserve!!!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately I have experienced another sad indictment in the world of youth football this weekend. How badly do some people want to win then a crowd of 30+ parents are screaming "scuff" at a 10 year old boy about to take a penalty against their team? And all this after the manager comes marching onto the pitch waving his arms about when the penalty was awarded. You know what? Have the league title, I don't care about it that much...
ReplyDeleteThat was then followed up by another game, same age group, different league, with similar behaviour but this time from a linesman storming onto the pitch to question a decision.
We wonder why players grow up with no respect for refs. It almost makes me want to coach rugby!!!
I wont start by explaining that you really aren't playing 'football' :) I spent many years coaching my sons' baseball teams. Some years quite good .. surrounded by many years not all the way up to terrible. But most all the time the kids were playing as well as they could. It would be nice if the grownups always did the same. Cheers as they same
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