I've had a pretty good day today. I played in a vets game this evening and we managed to win 4-3 and I bagged a hatrick. It was what you might call a direct approach and a battling performance against a very good Sundon Vets team. It shows that it's not always the best 'proper' footballing team on the day that wins. We struggled a bit to start off but tactically our coach decided the way to win was play quick balls to a target man (me!) and play off him. It worked a treat and they couldn't handle it.
This morning though was completely different. My son Matty plays for a fantastic team and their coach happens to be my vets team coach too. This morning, though, he played a 3-1-3-1 formation that really suits the players they have. The boys were brilliant and moved the ball around really, really well. To be fair, their opponents weren't a bad side and they've got some pretty tasty players, but the behaviour of their coach and one parent in particular was absolutely awful. We started off really quickly and were soon on top. The opposing coach started raising his voice, hollering and generally being horrible. By half time he was screaming at his team. He was joined in his 'chorus or terror' by one of the boy's parents. The dad was repeatedly heard swearing about how bad the team were playing. Now I'm not a prude, but we're talking about 10 year old boys here in the prime of their development years. The half time talks were what you might call a bit different. The opponents were sat down while the 'coach' (and I use the term loosely) balled them out about effort, commitment and just generally being bad. Our coach basically let the team listen to them and then said "I bet you're glad I'm not like him!".
The second half was much the same with both teams trying their best but our team coming out on top. The coach continued his barrage of abuse along with the father. It was awful to watch, witnessing the poor lad looking over at his father yelling abuse. I mean, clearly the lad was trying to play badly just to upset him! Eventually the dad said "f%ck this, I'm not staying here to watch this pile of sh*t" and promptly walked off. His son just stood there, started biting his nails and you could see the tears welling up in his eyes. To make it even worse, at the end of the game with the score 5-1 to our team, the coach again sat his team down and told them how rubbish they were. It's strange, because if he'd actually watched the game and not worried about the score, he might have realised that they were actually a decent team and the kid who's dad walked off was probably their best player!!!
What really worries me the most is the journey home the poor lad had to put up with with his disgruntled father and if he'll even bother playing in their next game. This is the time that the boys need encouragement and positive reinforcement, not screaming abusive coaches and parents. Sadly I see it all too often, where the only people that really care about the results in kids football are the adults. Is it really that hard to just watch and support your kid, even when things aren't going well? Do we really believe they're trying to not do their best?
Something I'd really like to do is video the parents and the coaches and then play them repeatedly at the next game...
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Sunday, 24 November 2013
Monday, 21 October 2013
One weekend, two games and a complete contrast...
This weekend saw me coaching both U11s sides I'm involved with in what turned out to be very competitive games. And this weekend I have seen both the fantastic and not so fantastic sides of people involved with youth football.
My Saturday side had a home game against a team we've not played before. The match itself was a cracker that finished in a 1-1 draw, but there was an unpleasant undertone from the opposition players, coach and supporters almost from the off. Our ref, like many other refs on a Saturday morning, isn't qualified, but is a qualified coach and also a deputy head at a local school. He gives what he sees and explains every single decision in a clear way so that no-one is in any doubt as to what he's given and why he's given it. There were two players in particular that argued almost every decision that went against them. This isn't great at the best of times, but when it's coming from ten year olds you have to question where they're getting it from. I soon found out... My team watch Match Of The Day as much as anyone else, but we've taught them not to argue decisions. I'm sure they will as they get older, but at the moment it simply doesn't happen. During the second half a free kick wasn't given to our opponents because the ref thought they had a clear advantage. As it happens they made a couple of decisions that cost them that advantage but play continued. The assistant coach was heard to swear loudly in front of my subs before running around to the other side of the pitch where he started remonstrating with the ref. At this point some of the parent supporters joined in. It can only be described as unpleasant and even their linesman standing near me was embarrassed. Shortly afterwards a free kick was given against a player for pushing. He clearly used both hands to shove someone in the back and immediately started arguing when the whistle was blown. At this point he told the ref to "get a grip of your game". It's not the sort of game I want to be involved in...
I was asked to help out my son's Sunday side as their regular coach was doing his Youth Award Module 3 training. The team play in the Chiltern Sunday league in division 1 and they are a very capable bunch of players. They were due to play Luton Old Boys in a league match at the Luton Recreation ground and I was expecting it to be another really tough game. Say what you like about Luton, but if you're not from there, it's not got a great reputation! We didn't start too well, in fact it was a bit of a disaster. We were 0-4 down after 20 minutes and it didn't look too good but a free kick worthy of MOTD status got it back to 1-4 at half time. The truth be told it was actually 4 mistakes that cost the goals, so the half time talk was really positive. What happened next was an absolutely amazing advert for all that is brilliant with youth football. After conceding a goal almost from the kick off, an incredible 20 minutes saw the scores at 6-6. The 50 or so people watching were enthralled and everyone was praying for the ref to blow for full time. The home side forced a last chance and when the long-range shot was fumbled by our keeper into his own net, their linesman actually slumped and said "oh no, I can't believe that". When I asked him what he meant he said "that was such an amazing game that it should've finished in a draw". The final whistle went and we lost the game 6-7 but the applause from both sets of supporters showed me why I love coaching kids football. I'd happily be involved in games like that every week and the contrast between the two games was remarkable.
I reckon I could guess which coach has done more coaching badges and has done the Youth Module Awards...
My Saturday side had a home game against a team we've not played before. The match itself was a cracker that finished in a 1-1 draw, but there was an unpleasant undertone from the opposition players, coach and supporters almost from the off. Our ref, like many other refs on a Saturday morning, isn't qualified, but is a qualified coach and also a deputy head at a local school. He gives what he sees and explains every single decision in a clear way so that no-one is in any doubt as to what he's given and why he's given it. There were two players in particular that argued almost every decision that went against them. This isn't great at the best of times, but when it's coming from ten year olds you have to question where they're getting it from. I soon found out... My team watch Match Of The Day as much as anyone else, but we've taught them not to argue decisions. I'm sure they will as they get older, but at the moment it simply doesn't happen. During the second half a free kick wasn't given to our opponents because the ref thought they had a clear advantage. As it happens they made a couple of decisions that cost them that advantage but play continued. The assistant coach was heard to swear loudly in front of my subs before running around to the other side of the pitch where he started remonstrating with the ref. At this point some of the parent supporters joined in. It can only be described as unpleasant and even their linesman standing near me was embarrassed. Shortly afterwards a free kick was given against a player for pushing. He clearly used both hands to shove someone in the back and immediately started arguing when the whistle was blown. At this point he told the ref to "get a grip of your game". It's not the sort of game I want to be involved in...
I was asked to help out my son's Sunday side as their regular coach was doing his Youth Award Module 3 training. The team play in the Chiltern Sunday league in division 1 and they are a very capable bunch of players. They were due to play Luton Old Boys in a league match at the Luton Recreation ground and I was expecting it to be another really tough game. Say what you like about Luton, but if you're not from there, it's not got a great reputation! We didn't start too well, in fact it was a bit of a disaster. We were 0-4 down after 20 minutes and it didn't look too good but a free kick worthy of MOTD status got it back to 1-4 at half time. The truth be told it was actually 4 mistakes that cost the goals, so the half time talk was really positive. What happened next was an absolutely amazing advert for all that is brilliant with youth football. After conceding a goal almost from the kick off, an incredible 20 minutes saw the scores at 6-6. The 50 or so people watching were enthralled and everyone was praying for the ref to blow for full time. The home side forced a last chance and when the long-range shot was fumbled by our keeper into his own net, their linesman actually slumped and said "oh no, I can't believe that". When I asked him what he meant he said "that was such an amazing game that it should've finished in a draw". The final whistle went and we lost the game 6-7 but the applause from both sets of supporters showed me why I love coaching kids football. I'd happily be involved in games like that every week and the contrast between the two games was remarkable.
I reckon I could guess which coach has done more coaching badges and has done the Youth Module Awards...
Thursday, 3 October 2013
It can't be great all the time...
So what do you do when it all goes pear-shaped?
There are some days when things just don't go to plan. Faulty equipment, forgetting to bring things and players not turning up are the most common, but sometimes it's the ones that do turn up that can really throw a spanner in the works. It's what you do with the situation and what you learn from it that can make a difference in the future. Last night was a prime example of a session you initially just want to forget but then realise it could be an excellent opportunity...
Kids of 10 have all sorts of pressures at home and school and sometimes when they turn up to football they just aren't in the right frame of mind. They couldn't concentrate, they couldn't understand what I wanted them to do even though most of them have done it before. Some of them weren't listening when we went through the session, some just simply couldn't pick it up and some had no intention of learning anything! Whatever the reasons, we seemed to spend half the session either sat down explaining and simplifying it and then simplifying it further. In the end, with the light fading, we abandoned it altogether and played a game. I didn't want the boys going home dejected so I thought a game would be the best thing. What I should've done is explained that because of their behaviour the session was over, but I didn't and that's a lesson I've learned. Unfortunately because of the way some of them were feeling, a couple of reckless tackles went in and I had to severely reprimand a couple of boys.
I have to see this as an opportunity. At the end of the session I left the boys under no illusion as to what I expect from now on so it gives me the chance to make some changes. Hopefully some of the parents will realise what's expected of them too! I wonder what their attitudes will be like when they turn up for our match on Saturday?
There are some days when things just don't go to plan. Faulty equipment, forgetting to bring things and players not turning up are the most common, but sometimes it's the ones that do turn up that can really throw a spanner in the works. It's what you do with the situation and what you learn from it that can make a difference in the future. Last night was a prime example of a session you initially just want to forget but then realise it could be an excellent opportunity...
Kids of 10 have all sorts of pressures at home and school and sometimes when they turn up to football they just aren't in the right frame of mind. They couldn't concentrate, they couldn't understand what I wanted them to do even though most of them have done it before. Some of them weren't listening when we went through the session, some just simply couldn't pick it up and some had no intention of learning anything! Whatever the reasons, we seemed to spend half the session either sat down explaining and simplifying it and then simplifying it further. In the end, with the light fading, we abandoned it altogether and played a game. I didn't want the boys going home dejected so I thought a game would be the best thing. What I should've done is explained that because of their behaviour the session was over, but I didn't and that's a lesson I've learned. Unfortunately because of the way some of them were feeling, a couple of reckless tackles went in and I had to severely reprimand a couple of boys.
I have to see this as an opportunity. At the end of the session I left the boys under no illusion as to what I expect from now on so it gives me the chance to make some changes. Hopefully some of the parents will realise what's expected of them too! I wonder what their attitudes will be like when they turn up for our match on Saturday?
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